Dating a Banker Anonymous | Messy Nessy Chic
Posts about Dating a Banker Anonymous written by Can. Being that I am a non -profit, single blogger myself, as I wondered home from the The truth is, if I really think about the qualities I look for in a 'mate', i-bankers. 28 story about a group called DABA (Dating a Banker Anonymous). "From investment bankers to real estate developers to construction. We recall the DABA girls (Dating a Banker Anonymous) covered in the NY Times who started a group for girlfriends of bankers during the recession. Their blog.
It's not that these caricatures are any less inaccurate or offensive than the DABA girls; they too are redolent of the anger and perplexity that accompanies social change, but at least they pointed to some sorts of progress, rather than regress. Even in presidential politics, the specter of the high-performing woman has been present. There was Hillary Clinton campaigning for president while her husband traveled the world doing charity work, focusing especially on some traditionally female areas like healthcare and infant mortality.
Sarah Palin became a bizarro-world feminist heroine, governing her state and running for vice-president while her husband, First Dude and snow machine champ, Todd, stayed home with the kids. Our current president has been out-earned by his wife for most of their marriage, while the wife of the vice-president continues her work as an English professor. Of course, a glance at the number of women in Congress or the executive branch of government, let alone the number of female judges, CEOs, scientists or doctors would have quickly put to rest any fears that we might be having a feminarchy or anything.
Still, it has been clear in the past decade that women have continued their slow, laborious, stop-and-start, second-shift-burdened slog toward economic parity to some lasting effect, even while babies continue to be made, and men and women or men and men, or women and women have continued to meet, flirt, court, marry. We should be beyond wondering, when men lose their jobs, whether they will ever mate again.
Yet here we are. As the economy has soured, so has our stomach for stories about gains women have made in recent years. Now we long for comfortably numb, soothingly regressive versions of sex difference, a death throe of a wealth and gender structure that began to crumble before the economy did.
There are other people tackling questions of how gender shift will affect the American social fabric, and while few have answers, some writers are at least wrestling with the idea that we are in a unique moment.
In The Battle Of The Single Banker Sexes: What Relationship Advice Can You Take to The Bank?
In NewsweekTony Dokoupil has asserted that "we men today may be taking care of our kids, our skin and our feelings more than Grandpa Ralph ever did, but we still grapple with the same core problem: Bazelon asks lots of smart, uncomfortable questions, many of them reliant on some hopefully outdated stereotypes as well, and many of which acknowledge the reality that women are losing jobs as well, and find the experience just as deflating as their male peers. Noting that 25 percent of wives currently out-earn their husbands, Bazelon asks, "What if the recession pushes that number up to one-third of marriages, or more?
And if laid-off dads turn into stay-at-home dads who do the afterschool pickups and get dinner started, won't gender roles become more fluid for everyone? It has backlash written all over it. No one can hope for clean lines and carefully laid out chapters about the kinds of social rupture we may be on the brink of experiencing, and Bazelon is correct that it's not good news that whatever parity women may gain in this financial disaster will not be one we think of smilingly.
Stories like Bazelon's and Dokoupil's are not easy to hate, not easy to jeer at, not easy to comfortably absorb as we might a matinee or a "Sex and the City" episode. We should let our major papers know that we don't need our gender educations in pre-chewed morsels that are long past their sell-by dates. Rebecca Traister Rebecca Traister writes for Salon.
And I was so looking forward to blowing Harry behind the stands now that he's dumped that Chelsy girl who thinks she's so smart. Can we throw them to the lions now? Yeah, the NYT got punked by a publicist hawking a book deal? Revolution comes from the 2 spot, leveraging the will of the people - at best we had that when Obama took office You cannot simultaneously revolt against your government and stop at the drive in for a delicious cup of Starbucks Coffee - sorry More so, these things would be decreed domestic terrorism, and the perpetrators would be put on a pillory as examples of how economic recession breeds domestic terrorism We are a population of sheep.
Him being there means that while these DABAs might be crying about not going out to eat every night or that their boyfriend is not wealthy enough, but the reality is - they will more than likely be back to that lifestyle within the next 4 years. This is just a temporary setback If what we really wanted was revolution - then we'd have found some way to keep Bush in office for at least 4 more years, we'd have raised the taxes on the poor, we'd have flown our capital to other more developing countries, we'd have embraced cronyism more, we'd have expanded Guantanamo pardon my spelling fart going on right nowbegun locking people up who showed any sign of dissent from the government g'bye New Englandand otherwise made sure that the class warfare was very very visible.
At the last steps, you start stationing US troops on US soil during active duty, restrict access to weapons and ensure that infrastructure is crippled enough so that standing up against an oppressor would mean cutting off supplies food, safety, cash.
The sheer fact that we consider ourselves free enough to write anything against vapid self obsessed shoe whoring socialites means that we're pretty much just a bunch of neutered loudmouths The sheer fact that we consider ourselves free enough to write anything against vapid self obsessed shoe whoring socialites means that we're pretty much just a bunch of neutered loudmouths.
Don't you think that was the whole point of the last eight years? I'm perfectly OK with that, because our current set of elites has totally fucked everything up and deserve to lose their elite status before they burn what's left of the country down. We've been on the third tier for a while now.
Seriously, let us not romanticize the type. I'm most emphatically not romanticizing them. I'm declining to participate in the little Two Minutes Hate we've generated here and trying to take a more objective look at them.
The competition factor definitely exists but I find it heard to believe they could live without amenities and pampering Again -- people are more flexible than you give them credit for. I think your opinion is one-sided.
Debunking the 'Dating a Banker Anonymous' Girls
It's easy to believe that the people or social types you can't stand have no strengths or redeeming values. Just as the people you love very deeply have faults and weaknesses. It's like saying the only way someone could ever get a broken arm patched is if they waited for it to develop gangrene and fall off before going to the doctor.
There are less extreme ways to affect extreme change. They just take longer and aren't as satisfying to our more destructive and vindictive impulses. Ah, sounds like someone's got a very persuasive secret girlfriend of his own You can distinguish between the two by thinking about what you'd like to do to Debbie Harry.
Just burn or cut her? Saw, which doesn't count. Burn or cut her whilst doing her? Read her thoughts while fucking her to learn that she's fantasizing about you cutting or burning her? Scannerdrome, and also a milder example of what David Cronenberg thinks about when he's patting his dog. And that's fair, as a goal, but I think what you're doing is granting them attributes that, in real life, they tend not to possess.
It doesn't take advanced social skills to net a young banking hotshot; it takes titties. Why would you imagine that some unusual trait was required?
The hell of it is, though -- a lot of us women are absolutely nothing like these horrible women. A lot of us would much rather cultivate our brains and our hearts rather than our checkbooks and our plumage. But the women like this are shinier and sparklier, and get more attention -- and a lot of guys get unknowingly caught up in it.
And when they've tossed a guy on the scrap heap, or after he's wised up and tossed her, lots of those guys get left gun-shy and messed up and bitter and wondering why there "aren't any good women" around -- and meanwhile I'm sitting there with a legion of overlooked women muttering, "what the fuck are we, huh?
- Dating a Banker Anonymous. Yes, really.
- Blog charts woes of dating Wall Street bankers
- Debunking the 'Dating a Banker Anonymous' Girls
I just had an unfortunate year in the dating game once. Satire, real, it doesn't matter. This site played us as easily as they played their imaginary boyfriends.
They know exactly what stereotypes to work. You read and projected a lot into a short comment that I made. They become the "friend" to some college cheerleader centrefold type and pine for her while she dates a series of jerks. Then she asks, "Why can't more men be like you?
When we discover we can't have it all we either become desperately bitter or we adjust and embrace contentment rather than unrealistic dreams. The Barbie Princess movies tell me that this is true! Ah, indoctrinating the youth of today against classism. Oh, that one made me laugh out loud. Not in the least. There are lots of jaw-droppingly attractive young women here in NYC.
Mere hotness isn't enough. Touching their wrist and feeling a pulse? These are not your typical dumb no job having girls who will be out on the street once they get cut off from "Big Daddy". They're very smart in a survivalistic way that a parasitic plant or single-cell organism is when it comes to adapting and working situations to get what they want. Sometimes they pick men who are less educated but more nurturing, romantic, supportive and playful.
Many bankers male or female are heavily work focused and have little time for domestic pursuits, fun, planning vacations etcetera. If they have a mate who excels at these things, it can balance them out and it will be less they have to deal with.
After a day inundated with industry-related concerns it might be nice to escape shop talk, pressure and join someone in a completely different world to de-stress. This could apply to male or female bankers, or career singles in general. When looks fade and novelty of another background wears off, what will you talk about? Would it be good to share a passion for your career? Would it be helpful to have someone with whom you could share lengthy and inspiring discussions?
Would education, accomplishments and career similarities be more important in the long run?